Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
