all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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