He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize