Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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