Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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