how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize