I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
