Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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