their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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