Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
