saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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