if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Help me help you realize you are a moron
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
