Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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