the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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