No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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