OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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