well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
