Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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