thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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