dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
