What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
