Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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