it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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