Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
