He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
