So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize