Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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