If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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