maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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