He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
