Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize