so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize