White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Still dying that you shit outside
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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