due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
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It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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