its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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