maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize