So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
