also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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