just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
