I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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