So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
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I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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