i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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