remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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