I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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