if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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