in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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