Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
