I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize