I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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