the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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