Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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