I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
