they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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