Plan B is the new Plan A
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
