My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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