I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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