So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
