Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize