You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
